Talking with people with dementia is a challenge, both for family members, friends, as well as appointed care-givers. I have always felt that faced with a challenge, before you try overcoming it, you need to first understand it. In this article, we discuss in details how to talk to someone with dementia.
You need to understand what the person in front of you is facing. It is not just forgetting things that is bothering him/her, it is also that he/she, quite often, cannot quite understand what you are saying, as their cognitive skills are affected too. They are uncomfortable, frustrated, occasionally terrified… that the world around them is getting increasingly incomprehensible. Also, it is important to realise that they may be in different stages of the condition, early, moderate or severe, with increasing impediment. But it is important to help old people overcome depression. If appropriate steps are taken, you will see that it is not difficult to talk to someone with dementia.
How to talk to an old person with dementia
Talk calmly, in a normal conversational tone, even if the person is getting agitated or angry. If you respond in kind, there is a good chance that things may get out of control.
Listen carefully to what the person is saying and try to put things in context. Often they substitute different words or phrases that they have forgotten with other familiar words. One of dear old ladies we take care of often says that ‘her knees are talking’. We found that whenever they ‘spoke’ a lot, she stopped moving, because, of course, what she meant was that they were painful. Home healthcare remains incomplete without a clear understanding of how to talk to someone with dementia.
how to speak to someone with dementia
Quite often they seem very obstinate and get almost hysterical, even violent, if you try to reason with them or insist on something they are unwilling to do. If you are wondering how to talk to someone with dementia, read on to know some useful tips. Please understand, in the world inside their head with their altered understanding & failing memory, they cannot relate to the surroundings & to your entirely reasonable requests. It is best not to demand obedience, but rather remain calm, divert attention (because they have short term memory loss) and try again, all the while trying to pick up clues to what approach would work.
We used to get an elderly retired high ranking government officer to get ready in the morning, saying he had to go to his office where he needed to sign a lot of files. These tips should be useful when it comes to talking to an elderly with dementia.
During a conversation, it is sometimes very helpful to refer to events, words, even songs from the times that they still remember. Helpful hints keep the conversation going sometimes. Familiar tunes are often helpful to arouse a dormant mind, and they are equally helpful to calm an agitated one. If you are referring to events, you must have already got a clear answer as to how to talk to someone with dementia.
Finally, when it comes to realizing how to talk to someone with dementia, please show them the respect that is due to them for what they were in their prime, rather than a disregard arising from their current condition. Have patience and give them time to respond, and, when they do, it is not necessary to correct every mis-statement or delusional reference they make.